Bob doesn’t want to come

Bob doesn’t want to come

Bob’s mum called Bob’s Dad the other day.

Bob doesn’t like it at ours because we’re too strict.

  • We don’t let him jump on the furniture.
  • We expect him to eat properly if he wants to eat sweets.
  • The tablets\consoles go off at midday.
  • We make him do homework (Because that’s “our job”, not hers, even though the week is a ratio of 5:2)
  • He gets rewards and perks if he does well at school, he gets them taken away if he does not.
  • He gets corrected when he uses incorrect English
  • If he doesn’t brush his teeth long enough (Once he was in there for less than 10 seconds), he gets sent to do it again.
  • He gets told off if he misbehaves.
  • He has a bed time

You know, all the things a parent should do. He has none of these rules at his other home, the grass is greener to a 9 year old, the implications of no sleep, bad diet and bad health doesn’t factor into a 9 years old’s thinking.

We’ll forget the fact that he gets taken places every weekend, he gets new toys most weekends, a lot more than most conventional families I can wager. In my opinion, the line between treated and spoilt is often crossed. He has a good life with us but he gets treated the way a child should, with expectation, respect and learning cause & effect.

Apparently from Wednesday onward she has to start “preparing” him for the weekend at ours. Sounds to me like manipulation.

And then come Friday she forces him out of the house kicking and screaming, she has a pub to be getting to.

The worst example of this was about a year ago when Bob’s Dad arrived to collect Bob she was there, all made up with her friends waiting in the living room and ready to go out:

Bob didn’t want to come because he ‘missed his mum and wanted to spend time with her’ so he locked himself in the bathroom. Bob’s Dad said that’s fine, we can come back tomorrow but he really doesn’t need to be locking himself away (He’d had a really bad week at school, and knew that he would lose privileges like sweets and his tablet – this was our suspicion of what was really the reason).

Bob’s mum was livid because this ruined her night out.

So Bob’s dad came home and as I was consoling him we started getting texts to say that she’s taken Bob’s tablet, sent him to bed with no food and told him what a nasty little boy he is. He definitely will be ready for the next morning and he’s really sorry for being such a horrible person to his Dad.

I can’t even imagine the stuff he has to endure when he’s there, and he’s too young to know that it’s not right.

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Money money money

Money money money

We received a text last weekend saying how poor Bob’s mum is and how we should observe that she’s had to tape Bob’s shoes together. He came to ours in a brand new coat, He has at least 6 coats. If there’s any way we can help her “pay her taxes” she’d really appreciate it, and that Bob’s dad is her most handsome and favourite ex husband…

She was at the pub for the weekend so I explained to Bob that we give his mum money every month for food and clothes and she needs to buy him school shoes with the money that we give her, that money is for him.

She sent a photo of his dinner the other day because it made a funny face. It was 5 wafers and a scotch egg cut into 2 halves. She clearly isn’t spending the money on food.

When is a detective not a detective

When is a detective not a detective

About a year ago, Bob came to ours proud as punch because his mum used to be a detective for the police. She’s retired now but she was so good at her job that they sometimes call our out again on really big and complicated cases.

We knew this was bull but Bob was so chuffed, what can you say?!

Last Sunday She told Bob’s dad that she’s thinking of suing the local council.

This is hilarious…

She was doing a degree in Forensic science (I say she was, she was getting Bob’s dad to do the coursework for her whilst she went to the pub, I’m not even joking! We had no idea how she was managing to progress once he moved out until…) . She got kicked off the course a couple of years for plagiarism.

She’s since been trying to apply for jobs off the back on the incomplete degree. But that doesn’t matter because she has a criminal record.

Long before she met Bob’s Dad, she and a group of friends beat a man half to death and then mugged him. She went to prison, in fact, she gave birth to her first child IN prison.

She’s also committed fraud on several occasions, even against Bob’s Dad as recently as 2 Christmases ago.

The council should have told her that she can’t work for the police force when you have been convicted of an offence that involves violence, stealing of fraud. So she wants to sue them for her wasted time and money.

Because most people need to be told that…?

This confirms that she is not a retired police detective who gets called our for emergencies from time to time (Presumably this is her get out to go to the pub whilst looking like a hero).

Why tell these amazing lies?!

Bob’s brothers had both cottoned on to her and moved out to their father’s by the time they were 11. Bob is 9. It must be heartbreaking to learn that everything your mother tells you is a fabrication. I hope he realises slowly and I hope that we can help him through it.

Chlorine lies

Chlorine lies

Bob came to ours a couple of weeks ago with a new fear. Swimming pools.

It would appear that he wanted to go swimming and so his mother told him he was allergic to Chlorine and shouldn’t go swimming. He told us this and I explained to him that is absolutely completely not true. We take him swimming most weeks. He had a rash once about 5 years ago from this float top he had, but otherwise he’s never has as much as a sore eye. If was allergic, he would be bad every time we went swimming.

So, He’s scared of Terrorists on planes, Chlorine, he doesn’t go to beavers because they “ran out of room”, and plently more lies on top.

Sigh

He obviously went back to his mother’s and told her what I said because she then called Bob’s dad asking to tell me that I was wrong. So Bob’s dad explained the facts to her and her response was “Well, he’s allergic per se”

So not at all. She just didn’t want to take him swimming.