Bob’s mum called Bob’s Dad the other day.
Bob doesn’t like it at ours because we’re too strict.
- We don’t let him jump on the furniture.
- We expect him to eat properly if he wants to eat sweets.
- The tablets\consoles go off at midday.
- We make him do homework (Because that’s “our job”, not hers, even though the week is a ratio of 5:2)
- He gets rewards and perks if he does well at school, he gets them taken away if he does not.
- He gets corrected when he uses incorrect English
- If he doesn’t brush his teeth long enough (Once he was in there for less than 10 seconds), he gets sent to do it again.
- He gets told off if he misbehaves.
- He has a bed time
You know, all the things a parent should do. He has none of these rules at his other home, the grass is greener to a 9 year old, the implications of no sleep, bad diet and bad health doesn’t factor into a 9 years old’s thinking.
We’ll forget the fact that he gets taken places every weekend, he gets new toys most weekends, a lot more than most conventional families I can wager. In my opinion, the line between treated and spoilt is often crossed. He has a good life with us but he gets treated the way a child should, with expectation, respect and learning cause & effect.
Apparently from Wednesday onward she has to start “preparing” him for the weekend at ours. Sounds to me like manipulation.
And then come Friday she forces him out of the house kicking and screaming, she has a pub to be getting to.
The worst example of this was about a year ago when Bob’s Dad arrived to collect Bob she was there, all made up with her friends waiting in the living room and ready to go out:
Bob didn’t want to come because he ‘missed his mum and wanted to spend time with her’ so he locked himself in the bathroom. Bob’s Dad said that’s fine, we can come back tomorrow but he really doesn’t need to be locking himself away (He’d had a really bad week at school, and knew that he would lose privileges like sweets and his tablet – this was our suspicion of what was really the reason).
Bob’s mum was livid because this ruined her night out.
So Bob’s dad came home and as I was consoling him we started getting texts to say that she’s taken Bob’s tablet, sent him to bed with no food and told him what a nasty little boy he is. He definitely will be ready for the next morning and he’s really sorry for being such a horrible person to his Dad.
I can’t even imagine the stuff he has to endure when he’s there, and he’s too young to know that it’s not right.