Old friends

Old friends

Bob and his mother have been in their new house for a week and a half, which means she has been there for the past 2 weekends.

When Bob was collected last weekend, She said she was meeting up with an old friend. A friend who was a well known alcoholic, Bob’s Dad remembered him well. It’s not our business what she gets up to in her spare time.

When Bob was collected this weekend, She mentioned he was visiting again – and again this is also not our business except that when we dropped Bob back off on Sunday – He was still there and he was still drunk <Edit – He stayed until Wednesday, long enough to paint the house for her, then she drove him home>. Bob was texting his dad at 21.45 – He still hadn’t gone to bed yet.

He’s going to really struggle with school.

We asked that she put more healthy food in his lunchbox. Here’s hoping she does.

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Packed lunch

Packed lunch

I got Bob from school today, his mother was adamant that she was making him packed lunches and we did not need to pay for school dinners like we did at the last school… 

Apparently a peanut butter sandwich and a packet of pork scratchings is sufficient. 

Childcare

Childcare

At Bob’s new school, his mother declared on Friday that she was of the opinion that we should be responsible for paying for his childcare. So she booked him into the before and after school club from when it opens at 07.30 and presumably when it closes at 18.00.

She doesn’t have a job at present and if she did have a job, the wages would be such that the government would pay for her childcare. If she had us paying for the childcare, she would be committing benefits fraud and also pocketing an extra €100 per week. 

We advised that we’d gladly pay for after school clubs if he wants to go to them but if she wants someone to look after him when she doesn’t want him, she can pay for it herself or he can stay with us. She immediately cancelled the childcare. 

When Bob’s mother and father were together, she had Bob in full time care from when Bob was months old. She didn’t work then either. 

We’re waiting for a text to say he wants to go to this club on Monday, this one on Tuesday… And so on. 

Place your bets. 

Stealing again… 

Stealing again… 

Before we arranged for Bob to change schools, he was due to go on a School trip. 

His mother called saying it was €25 and had to be paid in the very next day and she couldn’t pay for it. We wouldn’t be picking up Bob for another 3 days. 

So his father (my husband) transferred it over to the mother immediately. 

We’ve just found the form in his bag. It was never handed in. The trip was €14, not €25. And he was never going to go. 

He remembers more then we think… 

He remembers more then we think… 

Today is Christmas. It’s been a lovely day, we were asked to get Bob earlier than every year before, it’s supposed to be midday but this year 10.30, she was going to see her friend, a known alcoholic friend so no surprises there.

Bob has a rash at the minute, it took him to the Dr’s a couple of days ago to get it checked, nothing to worry about thankfully.

As dad put Bob to bed, Bob said “My rash is going away dad, isn’t it” to which dad confirmed the good news. Bob then told his dad about how he remembered when his. Other used needles to get rid of a rash. Bob was  toddler when this happened and his dad ended up at the emergency doctors with him

Dad said he remembered and his mother shouldn’t have done that, it caused him a lot of pain and it was very bad thing to do to your child.

“I’m sure she did it for a good reason dad, probably made it go away quicker”

So he does remember, I wonder when I he’ll realise it wasn’t right…

Where to even start!

Where to even start!

We had a barage of missed calls last week from Bob’s mother. Phone was on silent so we didn’t know until morning.

Mother and her partner got into an argument about her drinking (again) and he beat seven bells out of her. She was telling Bob’s dad about this on the phone with Bob in the car, Bob wasn’t even fased about it. Apparently this wasn’t the first time.

She’s moving out. Today. Bob’s dad needed to help and also have Bob as she is now homeless and staying at her mothers.

Bob’s dad jumped at the chance to help and keep Bob safe.

Bob came to our house for 6 days. Not once did she text to ask how he was. Texted asking for help getting internet and help getting a deposit for a house rental, but not once did she ask for Bob.

Bob is scared of the phone because his mother says the (now) ex can track you through your phone. Do not forget that Bob is 9 and doesn’t need to know this and it’s easily rectified if you think that you’re being tracked.

So we drop Bob back at her mothers on the Sunday and it appared that he has a bed so we left him to spend some time with his mother. We were wrong, the proper single bed was for her. Bob is sleeping on the camp bed. Surely in anyone’s book that is the wrong way around…?

2 days later we picked him up for a pre arranged meal we were taking him to and offered him that he could stay over, She responded that was no problem, we could bring him back Thursday Friday, Saturday, hell, have him as long as we want. Bob’s dad said it’s up to Bob to decide.

We have a nice meal and say to Bob that we have a day trip planned, woudl he like to come along and he does. Fab. So the next day we take him out. During this time, Bob’s dad gets a call, she can’t stay in all day wating for him as she wants to (And to quote) “go out with her friends and talk about hard times and stuff” so keep him.

 

So his whole life has been turned up side down and going on another bender is the way to go.

But as she constantly messages us – Bob is her first priority.

Sure it is…